My car gives me too much anxiety.
Now that my driving is down to a minimum, you’d think I’d have less issues with my vehicle. No, of course not. I still can’t park worth jack, and now I’ve had to deal with those…8-legged thingies I can’t tolerate.
The last couple weeks, I’ve been practicing backing into our covered parking space at the apartment. Facing into the space, there’s a curb with bushes on the left, and two poles holding up the covering on the right with the next parking space on the other side. If I park straight in, I open my door into bushes, and I hate getting out next to the plants because I’m paranoid of spiders. So I’ve been parking backwards so that I can leave my car away from the bushes. I’ve been doing this for, maybe, 2 weeks without problems. Sure, I might have to pull an Austin Powers and do like a 20-point turn, but I make it in. Occasionally, I hit the curb with the bushes. I’m very paranoid about hitting the poles and neighbors car, so I tend to get way too close to the curb/bush; I’d much rather hit the curb then dent my neighbors car or cause the parking covering to collapse.
Of course, this changed last Friday night, when for some strange reason, I decided to pay more attention to the curb side than the pole side. So, OF COURSE, I nicked the pole with my side view mirror. And Rodney was visiting, so both him and Kelvin got to witness my parking retardedness. I feel really dumb not paying attention to my side view mirror and not going in totally straight. Ugh. The pole seems okay, it got a little bit of paint scrubbed off in one corner, but based on what’s already on the pole, other people in the past have had issues parking as well. My side view mirror could be better; it’s not broken in any way, but the edge is a little scratched up. I cleaned the paint off, but there’s still scratch marks (but the scratches go away if it gets wet… anybody know if I can hide this somehow?).
Yesterday morning, I drove to work, noticing a spiderweb had been constructed on my passenger side view mirror. In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m sickly afraid of spiders. So I drove to work without dealing with it. The web seemed to break up when I got to work, so I was mildly relieved.
This morning, I get in the car and, while driving to work, notice there are three small, white spiders crawling around on my passenger side view mirror. I’m go “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod” all the way to work, avoiding looking in that direction. I get to work and park my car, and then I grab my emergency water bottle to ready myself for battle. I open the passenger window and start dumping water in the direction of the side view mirror. It’s a regular Crystal Geyser bottle, so my accuracy is not so hot, but I get a couple of them off. Not looking through my glasses, I can still see a white speck underneath the mirror, but I wait until lunch to deal with it.
At lunch, Bobby joins me to get some KFC. I ask him to check out my side view mirror, and sure enough, that little white speck is still there and it’s a spider. So he gets rid of it for me, which I’m slightly relieved about. What I’m not so relieved about is this long scratch going across the side of my car. What the hell? It’s not straight, and it goes across the entire car, which makes me thinking someone keyed it… but I didn’t do anything bad recently! It probably happened between Sunday (when Kelvin was passenger) and today, but I haven’t gone anywhere except work and the apartment… and I haven’t had issues with anybody (that I know of) at either of these places. I thought maybe a bush branch scratched my car when I was backing up, but it seems a little deep for that. Maybe somebody accidentally dragged something against the paint at the apartment (sometimes people walk by our parking space to get to places). Maybe it’s a random act of vandalism (something my car is no stranger to). Regardless, I’m pissed.
And as I was driving back from KFC, a white spider was crawling outside the driver’s window, so I was trying to not have a heart attack and crash the car as I drove back. I dunno if it flew off or something, but we couldn’t find it when we got back to work. Now I’m insanely paranoid about there being more spiders on my car. I feel really sick. I think I need therapy.
Ugh. I feel nauseous.
