America’s Next Top Model’s 13th Cycle of Bitches
Originally, I was going to post about how incredibly lame this season’s gimmick is, which is where every contestant is 5′7″ or under. My original opinion was that there is even less of a market for petite models than plus-sized model, and after ALL these past seasons of sticking plus-sized models with regular girls because of Tyra’s own ridiculous insecurity of her increasingly large booty, she opted out of having a season of ONLY plus-sized models. I was gonna bitch about how stupid this season is going to be, and how petite girls have no place in the modeling industry.
But then I watched the first three episodes of Cycle 13, and I’ve decided I was wrong. While I still think it’s going to be rough going for these girls, I’m really enjoying their attempts to look taller than they actually are. I’m curious to how successful they can be outside of doing beauty shots, but so far their photos have been decent to the point where they’re not noticeably shorter. And I hate to encourage Tyra’s desperate need to be as inspirational as Oprah, but this season is actually making me feel okay about being 5′4″ish. (I shouldn’t really feel bad; the average height of the American woman is around there.) So, okay, I’m sold on the gimmick now. However, I still think the winner is going to be one of the 5′6″ or 5′7″ girls and that anyone shorter is Tyra’s attempt at making the show “feel-good” again.
On to my initial impressions of the girls. And by “initial”, I mean after the first three (or four, if you count the two hour premiere as two episodes) episodes because that’s what I’ve seen so far. So if you don’t want spoilers for the first three episodes, you probably shouldn’t read this.
Amber 5′6″

So, this girl was supposed to be a finalist, but ended up dropping out by the first real episode for “personal reasons”. This was really too bad, because she was the hypocritical uber-religious girl that everyone hates for this season. I feel like she was faking it, but it would have still been entertaining. Other than that, pretty useless model-wise.
Ashley 5′6″

Discovered by Tyra’s hairstylist at one of her shows. Good face structure and proportions, so I can see why they picked her. Too bad her photos so far have been meh, and she’s being edited as the bitch of the house.
Bianca 5′7″

The girl I originally thought would be a “the black bitch” for the season, but then she has a sob story to follow up her craziness (raped by ex-boyfriend), so I guess she isn’t really. She’s just mental. I still don’t dig her look though; she looks like Nnenna from Cycle 6, except not as pretty and more crazy.
Brittany 5′5″

Who? I couldn’t remember who this girl was until the third episode when we’re reminded that she’s the girl who’s into math and goes to Santa Clara University. Completely forgettable.
Courtney 5′4″

I don’t have much opinion of her because we’ve mostly seen her with her leg in a cast, and she wasn’t on for very long. She looks… kinda buff which I don’t think does her proportions any favors.
Erin 5′6″

Very cute/pretty and great proportions. One of my favorites so far. She reminds me of someone else, probably a past contestant, but I can’t remember who I’m thinking of. I thought she looked better before her bleached-to-death makeover, but whatever.
Jennifer 5′5″

One thing I was disappointed about this season is that there aren’t more Asian girls. Tyra does a petite season and there’s only ONE Asian girl?! Lame! I wasn’t impressed with Jennifer either, especially as the ONLY Asian girl, but she’s growing on me. I didn’t like the asymmetry of her face (which is apparently due to some muscle defect called ptosis), but I like that it’s become another challenge for her to overcome.
Kara 5′7″

I’m not getting her. She looks like a man with bad hair to me.
Laura 5′6″

At first I thought she wasn’t pretty enough, but how can you not love her country girl charm? I don’t know if the editors are giving her an awesome edit or something, but I find her positivity and down-to-earth personality combined with her farmgirl accent INCREDIBLY ADORABLE.
Lisa 5′5″

When they called out the last girl for the final 14, I remember thinking this girl, who didn’t get called, seemed more model-looking than some of the ones chosen. When Amber was a no-show, Lisa was brought back, which I thought was great! Except she’s an idiot who can’t take direction, so now she’s out again. What a waste of a spot.
Lulu 5′7″

I really didn’t like her butch look, but her makeover did WONDERS for her. She spent too much time being Ashley’s bitchy sidekick and not practicing her modeling, so her pictures failed and she got kicked. I don’t miss her.
Nicole 5′7″

Love her. I like her look (I’m partial to redheads), and her proportions make her seem taller than she is. The anti-social weird girls are always interesting and often perform well, like Allison of Cycle 12 and Heather of Cycle 9.
Rachel 5′5″

Her bug eyes scare me (and aren’t cute like Allison’s of Cycle 12), and her proportions make her look shorter. That said, her removal during the second episode was quite shocking to me. We didn’t have much chance to see her do anything, so who knows? Maybe if given a chance, her scary bug eyes might have ended up being cute, too. (Unlikely.)
Rae 5′6″

Ah, “the mother who’s leaving her child behind” of this season. I’m meh on her proportions, and her face is plain to me. Makeup seems to do wonders for her, as her face vastly improves with makeup and good photography. I’m not sure if she’s a contender tho.
Sundai 5′3″

Why??? Not only is this girl tiny, she has TERRIBLE proportions. With her tiny body and giant head, she looks like a pre-teen! Everything about her looks small. I know people shorter than her who look taller than her. She doesn’t even look exceptionally pretty or interesting to make up for her crappy height and proportions. And her voice is totally grating. Fail fail fail.
My favorites are Nicole and Erin. I felt like Ashley was getting preferential treatment from Tyra, but with her photos and mean girl editing, I don’t think she’s going to win. If Sundai makes it to final three, I’ll be 100% convinced that Tyra has given up looking for real models.
New thing I learned today: Allison Harvard, a contestant for Cycle 12, was an internet meme years before she was a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. She was known as “Creepy Chan” for posting creepy pictures of her bug-eyed self on the internet.
This video from Know Your Meme explains her background pretty well. (Cycle 12 spoilers!)
























