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Archive for the ‘Reviews’

Red Cliff: What happens when HK directors watch too many movies

August 30, 2010 By: Judy Category: Movies, Reviews

Rodney and Jane came over to our place during the weekend for a movie night on our giant TV. I wanted to watch a movie that looked great in HD, and my friend Netflix recommended I check out Red Cliff. Never heard of the movie, but it was apparently a recent blockbuster in Asia about Three Kingdoms stuff. It also stars the hottest Asian guy ever (AKA Takeshi Kaneshiro), so hey, why not?


The red cliff in question

We watched the full, two-part Asian version. That’s almost 5 hours of epic Chinese movie… LOTR territory there. We started at 7:30ish, had a late dinner, and finished the film around 2:30AM. (Of course, Rodney passed out during the movie.) It looked very, very pretty on our TV. So if you want a film to test out your home theater system that’s not Planet Earth, this is a good one to try. Audio was great, too.


You have a lot of boats, I get it

The movie itself is entertaining enough. It’s the most expensive movie made in Asia to date, and it shows. Sometimes, it takes itself way too seriously and is inadvertently funny as a result. For a movie of this budget, it has a surprising amount of stupid in it. Also, the movie borrows a lot from other films; 300 in particular comes to mind (anything involving shields, extraneous sex scene), Saving Private Ryan, Star Wars (scene transitions, ha!)… It lives up to the main expectation of most viewers, which is lots and lots of epic battles. I love the heroes in the film, too. All their fight scenes are very well choreographed. It makes me want to go play Dynasty Warriors.


Fighting with baby a la Hard-Boiled. Go figure, it’s a John Woo film.

Here’s some more not-too-spoiler-iffic screens from the film. I already returned the Blu-rays, so I could only grab stuff from the theatrical US version, which is edited down to half the length, off Netflix streaming. From what I browsed, I can’t believe the stuff they cut. I can’t believe the stuff they left in even more!


The two leads. Notice the incessant sexual tension between the two.
Their Chinese harp battle is pretty steamy…

And as hot as Takeshi Kaneshiro is, does he really look like the greatest strategist that ever lived? He looks like a doofus.


Tony Leung flying through China in his mind. I can’t believe they kept
this in the theatrical US version. All four of us LOLed during this part.


Sun Shangxiang, the token girl. Surprisingly, she was one of the best characters
(she’s like Mulan!)… and they cut out all her scenes for the theatrical US version!
No acupressure or Shaolin soccer, WTF!


Sure, it looks cool… but it makes no f*cking sense!!


Here’s another Takeshi-Tony love gaze battle for good measure.

In summary, a worthy movie to test out your new HDTV with. I know Kelvin disagrees with me, but I recommend watching the full 5-hour version. Some of the most entertaining scenes are cut out (I mean, who wants to miss horse-birthing?!), and several crappy scenes are left in the shortened version anyway.

New thing I learned today: Chen Chang, who plays Lord Sun in the film, was the bandit guy in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

I knew he looked familiar! And the pirate guy in Red Cliff was in Letters of Iwo Jima and Fearless.

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Professor Layton bobblehead nods (slightly) approvingly

April 23, 2010 By: Judy Category: Reviews, Toys, Video Games

Who doesn’t love Professor Layton, a man of intellect AND action? When it was announced that bobbleheads would be released in conjunction with the release of the Professor Layton film, I bookmarked the preorder page and eventually bought a Professor Layton bobblehead so he could nod at me at my desk.

Professor Layton the bobblehead comes in a nice, glossy box that’s printed like a building. There’s a picture of Professor Layton and Luke in one of the inside walls, and the figure itself is cased in large pieces of plastic. The figure also comes with a riddle card (the card is labelled ????… i have no idea what that means).

Using my ghetto Japanese skills and kanji dictionary, I think the card translates to something like:

How many are there?
In front of the kitten there’s one male cat, behind the female cat there’s two male cats.
Behind male cat there’s one male cat and one female cat.
Behind the kitten is one female cat.
Now, what’s the lowest number of cats that are here?

Professor Layton himself is well constructed and doesn’t have that “cheap” feeling. The plastic is sturdy with a matte finish. It’s mostly painted well, with the Layton’s simple smiling face flawless.

I’m not a fan of the spring used in the neck. It’s very stiff, and as a result, his head doesn’t shake very well and requires a bit of disturbance in order to move. He just doesn’t have the same bobble-ness as, say, the Fallout 3 Vault Boy bobblehead.

The base feels a lot cheaper than Professor Layton. I remember in promo pictures the figure wasn’t attached to a base, so I tugged on Professor Layton a little bit to see if he can come off. I got one foot up… leaving a glue shaped footprint behind and permanently detaching his left food from the base.


I wasn’t even pulling that hard! Anyway, just FYI, Professor Layton stays on the base.

I ordered the Professor Layton FuruFuru figure back in February from NCSX. When I first heard about the figure, it was supposed to be shipped in January, but it was delayed until the beginning of April for some reason. The Layton Revoltech figure that was scheduled for March came out on time, and I got it before getting the FuruFuru figure. (More on the Revoltech figure in a later post.) As a result, the FuruFuru figure was a bit underwhelming compared to the craziness of the Revoltech figure. I sort of wish I had gotten the Luke FuruFuru figure instead as now I have two Laytons and no Luke. (But gosh, Luke is so annoying.) This figure still makes a pretty nice desk decoration, regardless.

New thing I learned today: The Professor Layton movie, Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva, takes place after the fourth Professor Layton game.

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Five annoyances with Uncharted

February 23, 2010 By: Judy Category: Reviews, Video Games

I beat Uncharted last weekend (with Kelvin’s help… we did the trade-controller-on-death thing for whenever he felt like watching). Overall, an excellent game. Pretty graphics, great voice acting with well-developed (if completely cliched) characters. Gameplay was straightforward and very reminiscent of Tomb Raider, and the cutscenes were the right length and entertaining. While most of the game is good, it’s good enough that imperfections really stick out and can distract from the game. Here’s a few of the nitpicks I couldn’t quite get over:

1. Ridiculous jet ski segments – There are two vehicle sections where you use a jet ski with your buddy, and you control both the driving and the shooting at baddies on the shore with unlimited ammo. Driving and shooting at the same time BLOWS TURDS. Shooting and accelerating is on the same trigger side; that plus the left trigger aim and dual joystick moving confuses the hell out of my fingers.

You would also think the point of the a jet ski is to travel fast and zip through the water past your enemies, but NO! For some bizarre reason, there’s barrels of explosive stuff floating everywhere in the river, blocking your way. (Who the hell thinks to bring tons of explosives to an island in the middle of nowhere just to dump it in a river? Can’t they afford mines?) If you bump into them or an enemy shoots one near you, instant death. The first segment, you’re given a grenade launcher, and you can’t shoot and drive at the same time. So you have to stop every 5 seconds to shoot all the barrels in front of you. Time consuming, boring, and makes the jet ski totally useless. Why couldn’t I walk along the shore with this magical grenade launcher?


Damn litterbugs.

The second segment, you’re using a pistol that you can shoot and drive at the same time. It never needs reloading and has infinite ammo, so the entire section is just BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM. There’s some auto-aiming, so this requires no skill. Controls still suck, so often times you’re running into rocks. You also drive up small waterfalls, which makes no sense.


BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM

2. Nathan’s inability to open doors – Is it really necessary to kick open every door or gate you run into? Why can’t he be a touch bit more subtle in jungle full of people trying to kill him?

3. Arbitrary puzzles – The main character, Nate, spends half of his game time hanging from his hands. Sure, inhuman feats are characteristic of video game characters, but some the grip jumps he makes are distractingly absurd. It reminds me a lot of God of War, where Kratos was always opening heavy doors with his strength. I always wondered how anybody who wasn’t Hercules got anywhere in Ancient Greece. Same in Uncharted. How does anyone get anywhere without being some mutant monkey man?

Every puzzle involves Nate scaling walls to perilous heights, long-jumping between ledges, hanging on edges by one hand… just to get to whatever random object you push/pull/break/lick to unlock whatever random passage you need to unlock. Why is there a pulley to move a hanging chain (with nothing on it) 90 degrees? Who the hell puts levers by the roof to open doors that have no path to get to them? Who uses a giant cavern to make a room full of red herring puzzles that looks like an MC Escher drawing? Apparently, the 16th century Spanish.

4. A small nation’s worth of bad guys – I don’t see why the villain is looking for treasure when he has enough money to fund a huge multi-ethnic army. There are SO MANY goons. And they’re everywhere you go. The island is deserted and not very big; how did they get all these people on there? There’s no airport or harbors (that aren’t ancient and dilapidated, anyway). Maybe they all swam there?


Once I kill the 10 people in here, 6 more will ambush me from behind

I hate 3D platforming, but I’d rather do more exploring (everything is so pretty!) and arbitrary puzzles than waste time with endless goons. And a lot of time is wasted on fighting goons.

5. What’s the point? – You spend all this time decrypting Sir Francis Drake’s doodles, climb walls, open secret passage ways, jump across decaying platforms, only to end up in front of a dozen goons. Seriously, how did these assholes get here already when I had to use some old book buried in the middle of the ocean to figure out how to open some secret door that no one has ever opened before and risk death trapezing over bottomless abysses just to get to the same point? Did the villain find some 400-year-old shortcut book? Why doesn’t Nate just use his ninja skills and follow these henchmen around? He’s obviously better at incessant murder than getting to anyplace before other people.

For example, in the last image, once you clear the area, 6 guys will ambush you from where you entered. However, you had to jump across rotting wooden planks on the side of a building in order to get to that entrance. Yet they somehow manage to efficiently get to the same spot and flank you. Stupid.

What’s even more retarded is that with half of these silly puzzles, you just end up where you started. You solve these ancient mysteries to basically go in a ginormous circle. At multiple points in the game, I looked above or below me and was like, “I was just up/down there an hour ago, wtf.”

—–

Outside of these points, I enjoyed the game and would easily recommend it. I’ve already started the second one, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m going to assume it will go well, as the game is winning all sorts of awards right now.

Also, apologies for the horrible screen shots. It’s literally just me holding a point & shoot camera at the TV while also trying to use the PS3 controller (so, basically a big blurry mess). If someone can recommend a good setup for getting good screenshots from my 360 or PS3 (both are using HDMI right now), let me know. Maybe I’ll implement it if I can ever find a source of monies again.

New thing I learned today: Simon Templeman voiced Kain in the Legacy of Kain series.

I haven’t played the Legacy of Kain series, but when I heard the villain in Uncharted, I was thinking, “Isn’t that Loghain?” And indeed it was! All voiced by Simon Templeman. After hearing Alistair and Morrigan again in the beginning of Uncharted 2 (their voice actors apparently play Nathan’s adventuring cohorts for the second game), I’m somewhat itching to play Dragon Age again.

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I have watched the Watchmen

March 25, 2009 By: Judy Category: Movies, Reviews

Last week, I used up my freebie Watchmen tickets with Ted, since Kelvin saw the movie on opening day with his coworkers. It was kind of nice to watch it over a week after opening day on a weeknight. Space in the theater was plentiful, and only a handful of people meant we probably weren’t going to have annoying people with us, which was the case (thank goodness). We both chowed down on super nachos and giant Icees, so the theater basically made its ticket money off us anyway.

The movie was pretty decent. I read the graphic novel before (if you haven’t come borrow my copy!), and I felt the movie was good truncation of the graphic novel. There’s no way they could have put all the stuff from the book into a movie, and they picked and chose their scenes well. I also approve of most of the changes they decided to do. The ending, in particular, was probably a lot more palatable for general audiences than the book ending, yet the movie ending still made the same point as the book. I liked most of the casting, with the exception of Adrian Veidt; I don’t get what his inconsistent accent was supposed be. I am SO glad they didn’t mess up casting for Rorschach. Rorschach was the best character in the book, and he was definitely the best character in the movie. Jackie Earle Haley rocked the role. Like 300, the movie is visually spectacular.

It’s not perfect tho. Laurie’s character is underdeveloped compared to the graphic novel, so when her personal conflicts come to a turning point, it’s not particularly compelling. Dr. Manhattan’s CG weirded me out, but maybe that’s intentional. Veidt’s cat definitely didn’t look right. The movie was more graphic than the book, both in violence and sex. And speaking of sex, WHAT A TERRIBLE SEX SCENE. Unnecessarily long, awkward, and what the f*ck was with the background music?

Is this song better porn music or intimate love scene music? The answer is: IT SUCKS EQUALLY FOR BOTH. I don’t know what emotions Zack Snyder is trying to convey. Passion? Love? Sadness? They’re going at it like horny rabbits with this somber music in the background. IT MAKES NO SENSE. The sex scene was also my biggest beef in 300, so I’m guessing “crappy sex scene” is a Zack Snyder signature. Kelvin suspects that he’s watched too many Showtime softcore pornos.

Anyway, I still feel the book is better, just because it goes into things in so much detail. The movie was a good summary of the book, with some changes that I preferred over what was in the book. I give it an 8 outta 10.

New thing I learned today: Those inkblot tests are called Rorschach tests. (Okay, I didn’t learn this today; I learned about it when I read the book, but whatever.) The Rorschach test uses a set of 10 inkblot images, always the same 10 images and always in the same order.

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My mom’s got a gown for the wedding

September 06, 2008 By: Judy Category: Reviews, Wedding

Before I started shopping for gowns with my mother a couple weeks ago, I had the impression that finding a dress for my mom would be fairly straightforward. I had dropped in the formal wear store of Trudy’s last I was at the Pruneyard, and they seemed to have a large selection of off-the-rack dresses. I couldn’t have known then that I’d end up going to NINE different stores in search of a decent dress for my mother!

The first store we went to was Trudy’s. It’s the place where I found my wedding dress… but not the place where we bought it because of their pricing. They’re generally expensive with little chance of discount. Despite this, they were having a sample sale, and their selection of mother-of-the-bride (MOB) dresses was extensive, particularly for a size 8 mother. (I think the average mother is more plus sized, so finding samples my mother’s size was difficult at times.) As expected, their service was great; the attendant (Judy) pretty much found the perfect dress on the first shot, a purple Montage by Mon Cheri dress with coat and in decent condition:

mobdress1.jpg

MOB dresses tend to retail for about $500 for styles with coats (our original budget of $200 was apparently… difficult), and shipping times range from 2-3 months (not gonna make it for the wedding). This one was $299 because it was a sample (the dress customers try on to see if they want to order it) of a discontinued style, and off-the-rack the only alterations my mom needed was shortening the hem and strap. We tried a ton of other dresses, but we were all in agreement that this purple one was the best. We were at the register, and my mom even had her credit card out. At the very last second, I stopped her, as I just realized that the dress is almost the exact same color as my qipao. My mother and I both agreed that having both of us wear almost the exact same color of similar fabric would be weird, so we had to pass on the dress. It was almost so easy; I was pissed at myself for not going with my original plan of a traditional red qipao. *sigh*

That same day, we also went to Elegant Lace and Bay Area Bridal. Elegant Lace had good service and an okay selection, but in terms of samples, they were pretty beat up and mostly not my mother’s size. We were a couple dresses we liked that we’d have to order and pay retail, which is hella pricey. Plus the brand of dress we liked (Montage by Mon Cheri) had very few options in darker tones. My mom was hoping for a red or burgundy kind of color, but most of the color options were light colors. Dark colors were always black or purple. Apparently, red is some sort of taboo color for moms in American weddings. Bay Area Bridal didn’t have as many nice dresses, and their service was nonexistent.

mobdress3.jpg
One of the few red dresses at Elegant Lace

Later in the week, we went to Valley Fair to check out the department stores. The good thing about going to department stores is that dresses are cheaper ($200 to $300 retail) and you can return the dress if you change your mind (no returns allowed at bridal shops), but the selection is a lot less with very little color options. We found a decent coated dress by Patra at Nordstrom’s:

mobdress2.jpg

I liked the dress but was iffy about the color. I felt my mother looked better in the darker colors, and the color of this dress kinda reminded me of underwear. But we both felt it was pretty and considered it a viable option, especially at under $200. Other dresses we checked out weren’t that great, and Macy’s didn’t have any of interest for us.

The next weekend, I made a last ditch effort to find the right dress. If we didn’t find the right dress today, we’d buy that purple one at Trudy’s and just deal with the daughter-mother-matchy-matchy stuff. At the suggestion of my day-of coordinator, we went to the Great Mall. We went to Group USA, which has affordable bridal and formal wear. Nothing there were worked for my mother. We went to Neiman Marcus Last Call, which had nothing even worth trying on because of little selection. The last store with went to was Uni, a Chinese store that sells qipaos and cheaper formal wear. It’s run by a Taiwanese lady and strongly reminds me of clothing shops in Taiwan. Despite the cheaper quality, it was still pretty pricey, plus there wasn’t anything we particularly liked. So Great Mall was a total failure.

Right after, we went to David’s Bridal, tried some more dresses, but they were kinda frumpy looking. There was another non-plus-sized MOB trying on dresses, and I think her daughter and I kept looking at each other’s moms to try and figure out what to get them to try on. David’s Bridal’s MOB dresses are kinda more prom looking, and unfortunately we didn’t particularly like anything here either. Ugh. We gave up. Back to Trudy’s for the purple dress.

mobdress6.jpg
A dress at David’s Bridal

At Trudy’s, the purple dress we liked thankfully hadn’t been sold yet, but a second look at it reminded both my mother and me of how similar it was to my qipao. We told our dilemma to the Trudy’s saleslady (it wasn’t Judy this time… I didn’t get this woman’s name), which was that we couldn’t find a decent, dark colored gown that didn’t require ordering and wasn’t purple. We figured we’d try on more dresses while we there, so the saleslady looked briefly and immediately found another gown worth trying. It didn’t have a coat, and it was also purple… but it was a much darker, bluer purple. You could easily tell it was a different color from my qipao, and the color would allow the dresses to coordinate nicely together. My mom tried it on, and it was perfect. Flattering, NO alterations needed. It was $215 retail (no discount for this one) and a Patra dress, and the sample was fairly new so it was in great condition. Once again, Trudy’s got it on the first try. We purchased it immediately. While no returns are allowed, they do allow exchanges for store credit for, like, a week or something, so it’s not like you have zero options. Judy (the saleslady we had the first visit) was behind the counter and was thrilled the dress was sold. She had told a deliberating customer earlier that Saturday that, if they don’t buy it that day, it’d be gone by Monday. She was glad my mom’s purchase made her not a liar. Sucks for the other mom, but there is another wonderful size-8 purple gown in the racks…

Anyway, here’s THE DRESS for my mom:

mobdress4.jpg

From the side:

mobdress5.jpg

I’m stoked. I think my mom looks fab, and the color (which is definitely different than my qipao… we compared the dresses next to each other!) and style is very flattering. I can’t believe she doesn’t even have to think about alterations. Amazing. I just have to find a matching chiffon scarf (need to go to the fabric store), and then we’re set. I definitely recommend Trudy’s for mommy dresses.

New thing I learned today: Aubergine is a synonym for “eggplant“.

The color name for the first dress we tried at Trudy’s was called “fresh aubergine”. The same brand also had dresses in “eggplant” that were similar in color, but slightly darker.

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