Red Cliff: What happens when HK directors watch too many movies
Rodney and Jane came over to our place during the weekend for a movie night on our giant TV. I wanted to watch a movie that looked great in HD, and my friend Netflix recommended I check out Red Cliff. Never heard of the movie, but it was apparently a recent blockbuster in Asia about Three Kingdoms stuff. It also stars the hottest Asian guy ever (AKA Takeshi Kaneshiro), so hey, why not?

The red cliff in question
We watched the full, two-part Asian version. That’s almost 5 hours of epic Chinese movie… LOTR territory there. We started at 7:30ish, had a late dinner, and finished the film around 2:30AM. (Of course, Rodney passed out during the movie.) It looked very, very pretty on our TV. So if you want a film to test out your home theater system that’s not Planet Earth, this is a good one to try. Audio was great, too.

You have a lot of boats, I get it
The movie itself is entertaining enough. It’s the most expensive movie made in Asia to date, and it shows. Sometimes, it takes itself way too seriously and is inadvertently funny as a result. For a movie of this budget, it has a surprising amount of stupid in it. Also, the movie borrows a lot from other films; 300 in particular comes to mind (anything involving shields, extraneous sex scene), Saving Private Ryan, Star Wars (scene transitions, ha!)… It lives up to the main expectation of most viewers, which is lots and lots of epic battles. I love the heroes in the film, too. All their fight scenes are very well choreographed. It makes me want to go play Dynasty Warriors.

Fighting with baby a la Hard-Boiled. Go figure, it’s a John Woo film.
Here’s some more not-too-spoiler-iffic screens from the film. I already returned the Blu-rays, so I could only grab stuff from the theatrical US version, which is edited down to half the length, off Netflix streaming. From what I browsed, I can’t believe the stuff they cut. I can’t believe the stuff they left in even more!

The two leads. Notice the incessant sexual tension between the two.
Their Chinese harp battle is pretty steamy…
And as hot as Takeshi Kaneshiro is, does he really look like the greatest strategist that ever lived? He looks like a doofus.

Tony Leung flying through China in his mind. I can’t believe they kept
this in the theatrical US version. All four of us LOLed during this part.

Sun Shangxiang, the token girl. Surprisingly, she was one of the best characters
(she’s like Mulan!)… and they cut out all her scenes for the theatrical US version!
No acupressure or Shaolin soccer, WTF!

Sure, it looks cool… but it makes no f*cking sense!!

Here’s another Takeshi-Tony love gaze battle for good measure.
In summary, a worthy movie to test out your new HDTV with. I know Kelvin disagrees with me, but I recommend watching the full 5-hour version. Some of the most entertaining scenes are cut out (I mean, who wants to miss horse-birthing?!), and several crappy scenes are left in the shortened version anyway.
New thing I learned today: Chen Chang, who plays Lord Sun in the film, was the bandit guy in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
I knew he looked familiar! And the pirate guy in Red Cliff was in Letters of Iwo Jima and Fearless.



























